"Mission Control We Have a Problem"

"What's the problem blogger 1?"

"We have a failure to launch."

That was a colossal failure. It has been over a year and a half since I was inspired to start a blog and I have not made a single post nor shared this with anyone. In fact, the only reason why I was reminded that it even existed was because my good friend Mr. Flickinger, on a recent trip to Santa Barbara, mentioned that he had stumbled across my blog while doing a google search for his own. It reminded me of my all to human desire to blabber in a digital format. It also made me lol at the fact that Flick googled his own blog (that makes one, am I right? Baaaziiing!! I’m here all weekend…)

Anyway, this is attempt number two, and this time I swear I am going to keep up with making new posts. Here it goes:

Recently, I saw a movie that was one of the greatest theatre going experiences of my entire life: Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises. Now, if you have not yet seen it, kindly please go jump off of your nearest cliff, because you are clearly wasting a perfectly good life (if there are no cliffs near you then your roof should do just fine just please try and make sure you land on your neck). I think my experience may have been a bit skewed by the fact that I saw it both at a Thursday, midnight premier, and at the Arlington Theatre in Santa Barbara.

As a quick side note, the Arlington is by far and away one of the coolest movie theaters on the planet, and if you ever have the opportunity to see any film or show there I highly recommend it. Built in the 1930's, in the old Spanish colonial revival style, it seats 2,000 people. The exterior looks like a giant mission and the interior is designed with twinkling lights on the roof and the facade of a colonial town square giving you the feeling that you are outside on a warm summers evening in a town square in South America. Personally it reminds mea bit of Lima, Peru.

Another little perk to my experience was due to an amazing promotion they were having we were able to enter the theatre two hours early and have a few drinks at the movie theater's bar (why every single movie theatre in America does not have one of these is beyond me).

The stage is set, it is midnight, on a Thursday, in an incredibly beautiful theatre, surrounded by 1,999 fellow Batman fans. We have all been waiting for this film since 2008 when Heath Ledger performed arguably the greatest performance by any villain of all time. Numerous people are dressed in Batman/Catwoman/Bane costumes, I am two long island iced-teas deep and the lights begin to dim. The crowd goes wild.

Now, I understand if you saw The DKR at your local run of the mill, rinky dink theatre, on a Wednesday afternoon, taking full advantage of the early-bird discount, why you may not have thought the movie was as amazing as I did. It definitely helps having thousands of pumped up fans cheering at every one liner or epic car chase/explosion sequence (the scene where The Bat was first used, I'm looking at you). The long islands didn't hurt either. That being said, there is no way you can say that this was not a great movie and I will tell you why in one word:

Bane.

Holy mother of god. Bane. Say it with me now. "Your punishment must be more...severe." Usually if a line is in the previews for a movie when I see it in the actual film it loses a bit of its luster at best and is completely ruined at worse. Not with this line, in fact, I believe quite the opposite occurred. Despite knowing exactly what was to come I was ecstatic when this brilliantly timed and motivated line was uttered. This was definitely the best performance by someone whose face was covered since Darth Vader. Tom Hardy, truly, bravo.

Speaking of performances was there a single actor in the film who did not absolutely kill it? Take Anne Hathaway. I, like many others, feared that she would be this films reckoning. Instead she was brilliant. My only other comment regarding her performance was this; what motorcycle?

And how about Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I never would have thought he could go from the nerdy dweeb in Ten Things I Hate About You to a hard-ass former-orphan cop but he did it with ease. Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Michael FUCKING Caine. Everyone was excellent.

If you didn’t feel at least a bit sentimental when Alfred weeped at the grave of Bruce Wayne, crying to his parents that he had failed them… well then I don’t think we can be friends because you are clearly one cold hearted bastard.

But I digress. The real take away for me from this film is all of the brilliant one liners from the oh so glorious bad guy Bane. Just like The Dark Knight left us all saying “why so seriiiouuusss?” for months after its release this movie will have me saying “I am Gotham’s reckoniiiing” or "I am this beer pong table's reckoniiiiing" nearly every time I win at anything for at least the next several months. And yes I know how annoying it will be.

PS If you enjoyed Bane as much as I did you are going to love this. As my gift to you and the whole reason why I made this post, here it is, the Bane soundboard:

Bane Soundboard

The internet truly amazes me at times.

Double Bacon Cheese Blogger

I have recently  been inspired by two good friends to start a blog. My two friends are the aptly nicknamed Michael (Archie) Archuletta and Brandon (Flick) Flickinger. Their blogs serve very specific purposes. Archies blog, titled Surfer Misplaced, details his experience 'Chasing the Dream' playing professional basketball in Munich Germany and can be found here; http://www.surfermisplaced.blogspot.com. Flicks is about chasing a different kind of dream, a dream to find gainful employment in the field he received his degree in, Geology. His is titled The Long Way Around and can be found here:  http://noroomfordoubt.blogspot.com. Both are very entertaining and are great reads that I highly recommend. If it weren't for the writing of these two talented friends of mine I would not have had the courage to put my work on the internet but alas I have taken the plunge and now there is no turning back.

The question then arises why blog? Why am I writing this? What exactly is the point? Flick states that his goal is to detail his enduring battle to find employment and Archie plans to chronicle his adventures in a foreign country. While these two blogs have very specific and interesting topics I blog for a different reason. I blog for the same reason a dog licks his balls, because I can. The point of this is that there really isn't much of a point. I hope with my writing I can entertain people, make people laugh, and share some of the wisdom that I have acquired in my journeys.

What you can expect when you take a glimpse into the frat house that is my mind are my thoughts on some of the things that interest me most in the world. This includes but is not limited to: Hip-Hop, Art & Design, Technology, Cinema, Television, Fashion, Music, Sports, Sneakers, Finance, the Environment, and Literature. If I read a particularly good book or see a good movie I might explain to anyone who is reading why they need to check it out. Conversely if I consume a particularly bad piece of media I might use this as an avenue to rip on it.

Recently I wrote on a post-it note that I placed on the wall above my desk the following; NEW GOAL: WRITE OR DRAWER ONE NEW THING EVERY DAY. This is a retro-active new years resolution that I am putting into affect immediately. I highly encourage anyone who has got a creativity itch to make this goal their butt scratcher (buuuut scraaatcherrrr).

As the great Barney Stinson once said..."I'm Awesome" and that is why you should be excited for whats to come.